Yoga off the Mat: Courtney Sheber
I met Courtney when I walked into her yoga class 3+ years ago. I was immediately drawn to her. Here I was this stranger to her, but she welcomed me with the same warmth and kindness as she did everyone else.
Me with my own wounds from my past, especially w/ other girls, had me wonder over time of knowing her: Has Courtney always been this super kind/positive person? Maybe she was that popular girl growing up? Possibly easy upbringing? I was deeply inspired when I learned how Courtney’s past experience of being bullied as a young girl, influenced the person she is today.
Courtney is an Arizona Native and has chosen a life of movement and wellness. She quit her corporate job in 2015 to pursue yoga and is now Studio Manager and a lead instructor at Modern Yoga in Scottsdale. As a former competitive gymnast, she understands the balance between work and play and the healing aspects of movement. Courtney is on a mission to help people discover yoga on the mat, so they can take the yoga off their mat and into their daily lives.
Tell me a little about your upbringing:
I was born in Tucson and moved to Scottsdale when I was 3 years old. My family is my world. We are very close and always put each other first. I have 2 loving parents and a little brother. I was raised as an athlete. I was a competitive gymnast for over 11 years, did dance, swim, diving, etc.
What were your teenage years like? Any challenges that affected your mental health?
During and after I quit gymnastics, I was bullied a lot at school. I didn’t have any friends because I was so dedicated to the sport and I wore my hair super slick back with no style. I struggled until I found cheerleading in high school. I had always struggled with anxiety.
Wow, let’s talk about the topic of bullying. Bullying is a major issue in schools and sports today. How did this look for you?
For me, it was mostly girls. But both boys and girls made fun of me. I was very muscular and had no boobs. My hair was often slicked back in a bun for gymnastics. No boys liked me. I was very shy and just stayed in my zone. There were 10 people who bullied me. 2 were my “good” friends. They would talk about me behind my back.
What emotional effect did this have on you at school?
I used to eat lunch in the bathroom stall. It was better than wondering, “who will sit by me?” I would often question, “who are even my friends?” 7th and 8th grade was the worst.
I would go home and cry to my dad. He would start showing up to school and eat lunch with me. Then I got bullied for my dad coming to school. I told my dad to stop because he was embarrassing me. This strained our relationship at that time. Looking back, I feel bad for my Dad, because he was just trying to be there for me.
What type of bullying affected you the most?
I received a lot of internet bullying, it was out of this world! There were times I’d get attention from boys online, then it would turn out to be a girl who would forward our convo to everyone. It was just rough. It brought out my anxiety for sure.
Did these effects on you ever reach a dangerous point in your life?
I had some very low points when I was younger. I had suicidal thoughts, but it never led to anything serious. My family really held me up.
How did your anxiety affect your daily life?
Sometimes I’d have anxiety attacks that were from triggers (timed tests, fear of letting someone down, etc.) and other times it was just random. It affected my daily life a lot. I had to manage the random attacks during school and eventually work. At times it was debilitating and I felt embarrassed that I couldn’t handle “simple” things. This took a toll on my personal relationships and especially my relationship with myself. It wasn’t until my twenties when I learned how to really practice self love. After that my relationships got better too.
1 in 5 kids in schools today report being bullied, to include: name calling, insults, rumors, pushed, spit on, and excluded from activities on purpose. What’s your advice to someone being bullied?
Be yourself no matter what. Stay true to who you are. Those times will pass. A lot of those who struggle when they are little are those who rise above when they are older! Stay close to God. God is always there for you and he loves you no matter what. Reach out to someone: teacher, parent, sibling..
Did the bullying finally come to a close or what happened?
I finally left those people behind and sort of rose above it. I became captain of the cheer team, so all the sudden my athleticism was “cool”. I still had people talk badly about me even then and that’s when I realized there will always be people trying to bring you down. You just have to be yourself.
How did this affect your adult life?
This is something I feel passionate about because bullying can have such a significant impact on people, even into our adult life. Today, I try and see the good in people, and realize if they are mean to me, it is their issue not mine. I don't trust people very easily. It's hard for me to let others in, I have my tight group of friends. I just don't know if I can trust everyone, I’m not sure if someone will gossip about me. It kinda carries with you.
Courtney, from what I see of you, you are always so kind and inclusive to everyone. Did the bullying from your past lead to who you are today?
Absolutely. That is why I am so nice to everyone. You never know what someone else is going through. You just have to be kind. Even if they are rude to me I am still nice back. They are probably going through something and projecting it onto me. Being bullied, actually made me who I am today.
You mentioned yoga has helped your anxiety?
Yoga has been EVERYTHING for my anxiety. Learning to breathe was the biggest gift and tool I will always carry with me. It also taught me to ground in my own body. That movement didn’t have to mean killing my body in a workout, it means connecting to mind, body and breath to heal.
Instead of searching outward for a solution, or for someone else to tell me I was enough, I started finding that through myself through my yoga practice. It was within me already. I had to learn that..
Having taught yoga for 6 years, what would you say to someone who is wondering if they should do yoga, what can they get out of it?
You never know until you try something! I hear all kinds of excuses like “I can’t touch my toes”... well you are the perfect candidate for yoga! It’s not all about the flexibility and skills yoga is about finding balance in your life. Yoga is practice FOR LIFE. It teaches us to calm our nervous system and breathe when times get challenging. If you can do these things in your yoga practice.. They will translate to your life! Yoga is beneficial to athletes for flexibility, strength and stability, recovery, balance, and most of all mental awareness.
Some people will say yoga is maybe about a certain religion, what do you say to someone who thinks that way?
When I first started teaching, a lot of my Christian friends were concerned I was Buddhist now. I educated myself. I remember reading The Yoga of Jesus. A lot of what Jesus teaches, lines up with the messages of yoga. Love yourself, be kind to others, & do not harm yourself/others. I believe the yoga sutras line up with how Jesus lived his life. Stick to your beliefs and avoid judging others.
What do you like to do for fun? Is yoga your only avenue of stress release, mental release? Do you do anything else?
My pride and joy is spending time with my puppies and my friends and family. I love to cook! It’s like a meditation to me and my boyfriend and my favorite date night.
When people look on Instagram, life can look “perfect”. Do you have any other struggles now or in the past you care to share?
Absolutely! I think everyone does. Being a competitive gymnast, I was always very conscious of my body type. After college, I was working full time at a desk and gained quite a bit of weight. This took a toll on me mostly because of how I FELT. I knew I needed to make a change and do something where I could move my body on a daily basis. Now it’s a constant practice of self love and listening to how my body feels even if my weight fluctuates.
Any other self-love practices besides yoga?
Changing my negative thought process with positive affirmations. It’s paying attention to how I am talking to myself. Instead of just saying I’m scared, or I’m anxious, learning to have positive verbiage as well; such as I am confident, I am enough, I can do this.
Top few favorite books that have positively impacted you?
The Power of Now
The Bhagavad Gita
The Untethered Soul
Daily OM
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I appreciate Courtney’s willingness to do this interview. I could hear the emotion in Courtney's voice as we discussed her past. Despite her challenges, she has forged forward and has instilled values of compassion, kindness, and inclusivity towards others. We all have a past, and sometimes we have situations and experiences we never wished for. But how can those encourage us to show up as a kinder, braver person?
