Navigating Body Image after Birth
Photo by Brian Hudson Photography
Are you pregnant and struggling to accept the changes to your growing body? Or maybe now you have had your baby, and instead of feeling all the joy, you have negative emotions about your post-pregnancy body? Just know, you are not alone. Many women have difficulty navigating postpartum body image.
This isn’t a shocker. We live in a society that celebrates the physical changes during pregnancy, but then bombards us with messages about all the women who have “bounced back after their baby.”
Just take a look at social media, and there is no shortage of praising women for being back to her pre-baby body weight shortly after giving birth.
Which I applaud those who are able to do that, or choose to. When I had my first 2 babies, that was me too. I know it takes work. But, remember no two pregnancies are the same, and NO postpartum experience is the same. So you ought to not compare yourself to other mommas. I had my first baby at 24, and having my third baby at 34 was a much different experience. At 24, sure, my body actually did “bounce back” pretty quickly. At 34, my body has been holding on to weight a little bit longer.
This doesn’t mean I am doing anything “wrong”. I exercise and my goal is to eat clean (not perfect). But the reality is, pregnancy changes our bodies. Our skin stretches, our hips get wider, bones get bigger, breasts change! Shall I keep going??
Whether we love it or not, this is all supposed to happen. Our bodies have to expand to grow that precious life inside of us. You don’t need to conform to unrealistic standards after you have a baby. My hope is we (myself included) can be better at accepting and honoring our strong post birth bodies!
A couple things I found helpful so far:
Change my wardrobe- I went out and purchased some bigger clothes yesterday. It’s ok to get some looser clothes that flatter your body during this postpartum time period! This, was a victory for me. (YAY!) As someone who has recovered from an eating disorder, my past self would never have allowed myself to go shopping for bigger sized clothes. I would have worked out like a maniac until I fit into my old clothes.
Ditch the scale- During my pregnancy I asked my midwife, please do not tell me my weight. Until right before baby came I learned I gained 40 lbs. Postpartum- I do not weight myself. Your provider at your postnatal visit will let you know if there is a problem with your weight.
Mirror Work- I once said I was just going to ditch full length mirrors too. Then i switched my mindset after I had this recommendation given to me- Stand in front of the mirror- (naked) and for 5 minutes- speak loving words to your body parts you might be struggling with. This has helped me honor my strong body for carrying and delivering my baby boy.
Unfollow social media accounts that are unhelpful
Move your body- Regular physical activity can increase your dopamine and serotonin levels, making it a positive option to boost your happy hormones.
Shift your mindset- Despite the fact that I have my daughter innocently remind me “mommy your tummy is squishy” I’ve had to shift my mindset on how I see my body. My belly is larger, hips are wider, thighs are thicker because I just brought a baby into this world. Instead of hyper focusing on my body, I’ve put a lot of time and attention to breast feeding my baby. These first 5 months he’s been exclusively breastfed and only a couple of bottles. Mainly because I wanted that bonding time with him. My daughter struggled to nurse, so I wanted that with Cooper. I’ve loved it so much. I know breastfeeding is not for every momma or it doesn’t work for everyone, and that’s completely ok too! You need to do what works for you! It’s just helpful to shift your mindset to being in awe of your baby, the body changes will come, but this infant phase passes too quickly.
Lastly, if you are really struggling with negative feelings about your body, or it’s preventing you to care for your baby, yourself, or interfering with your day to day life, don’t be ashamed to seek professional help! There are therapists out there that fully equipped to help you with postpartum health and navigating difficult issues:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us
https://www.postpartum.net/