Entrepreneurship and Mental Health with Holly Wiest: Holly’s Healthy Holes

Holly Wiest is the founder of Holly’s Healthy Holes -- an online gluten-free bakery and wholesaler, where she’s perfected the art of the healthy donut using protein-dense, whole food and naturally sweet ingredients. She took her business from ground zero to a quarter million dollars in revenue at the young age of 25.

Did you have any fears/doubts about starting your business?

Imposter syndrome! My brain was telling me I am not an expert. But I realized I am an expert-- only in my own experiences. And if I remain honest about what I truly know then I know I can connect and make a difference.

What helped you navigate through your fears?

Knowing that I am following my heart and doing what I have been called to do. Knowing I am possibly helping even one individual.

Were there times you felt like giving up?

All the time-- I use the theory of hypertrophy to keep me going! Meaning you have to play at the edge of your limits in order to foster an environment for growth, whether you’re talking about resistance training or self development of character.

Was there any type of association that provided encouragement for you as an entrepreneur?

Networking groups for women, groups of entrepreneurs, being around people who are literally “in the fire” with you.

Get together with these people who have similar struggles and triumphs as you! Those breaks you take together are your fuel and are necessary so you don’t burn out -- remember it's a marathon and not a race. You must take care of yourself for sustainability in this entrepreneurial life.

Is there anyone who played a supportive role in your journey?

I recommend mentors and relentlessly asking a lot of questions. Don’t be ashamed to ask for help.

What’s been your biggest struggle in your journey of business ownership?

Comparing myself to others and not staying focused! Also, distraction is going to be your downfall, whereas staying focused on the clear goal at hand is the key to securing growth and hitting those goals. Say no more often in order to be clear as day about your mission.

What would you say to those who are starting a business or any new endeavor?

START NOW, START SMALL, Start before you’re ready or before it’s perfect. Build one day at a time. You’ll see growth before you know it!

Comparison will kill your joy and momentum. Do not be distracted by others. Everyone's journey is so different.

What’s been a personal victory for you in your journey?

Being able to say NO. Whether to a business offer that could have made stacks of money, or to the exponential growth mindset, whatever. I am willing to sacrifice what others consider success (money and the unlimited “grow grow grow!” race they lose their life in) in exchange for the YES of the ultimate win --  following my moral compass and staying true to my values.

Also, my dream of helping one or more individuals in their journey of recovery from eating disorders and other similar struggles, has been one hundred percent realized and manifested. There is nothing more I could ask for.

Can you share about your decision to close your business? 

My experience with HHH has been nothing but lucky and full of magic. I’ve been blessed in this whole journey and now I’ve decided to exit the race. The real success is all the memories I cherish, relationships I’ve built, a city I fell in love with and that took me in like a nurturing mother, the capability and confidence I have found in myself, the growth and appreciation for every part of this journey… that is success to me.

I’ve tried to share or write something about this decision a few times over the past few months, but it has made me feel anxious and fearful that I can’t find the right words, and have been unable to spend any time online. I have PTSD now from speaking online or about the subject at all. It’s like a conversation in my head; “do I owe an explanation? No. Do I want to share my thoughts, feelings, learnings and journey as transparently and honestly as possible? Yes. Do I want to be held accountable? What does that really mean?” It’s such a hard and necessary balance to find.

It could never be contained in a caption. This isn’t a decision I made without lots of thought. It’s so much more complicated than the average passerby understands.

In the time after my pinterest handle was exposed, I set out on my own personal learning journey about what I needed to learn and heal from that. Those steps are for my community, my Jewish and underrepresented brothers and sisters. These are people I have been seriously and wholeheartedly involved with ever since, and they are genuine and private relationships that continue to evolve. It’s not for show or to prove anything to anyone. I don’t need to share it. This is really deep stuff that belongs to us. People think accountability means an invitation to play the divine, to judge where they feel they have been perfect, to criticize every move people make, but the truth is there is only one being who has ever lived perfectly, and He is not alive today. 

The best part of this is how I am learning about my own responsibility with every word, joke, or choice to not stop another joke is where the power is. It’s within ourselves and how we act out our lives within our immediate circles; it’s not on the internet or preaching to the masses or trying to change or educate other people. It’s the grand opportunity we have to educate ourselves and find our own shortcomings. We can only control ourselves, and the sooner we apply that, the better the world will actually be. We then get to lead by example to our closest friends and family members. This is how I take accountability. 

There are lots of things I wish I could say, process or metabolize but I never got the chance because I was silenced and cancelled by lots of people who are both strangers and people that thought they knew me. They never asked questions or invited me to a conversation, which I thought would have been very important. I wish we could talk about things like who I really am, or how everyone needs and desires both to tell their story and to be heard. That’s how humans work and how we have evolved. That’s also why the justice system works the way it does, to let people have words and gather facts. It’s a huge problem when no one wants to listen to the person they believe is wrong or bad. We have to leave room in our hearts to come together just to listen to the others’ side, not with a mindset to change, but with the intention of understanding where they come from and how they got there. We will only find humanity in understanding. That is how we create empathy, which only comes when we can listen.

The subjects of racist words being used without regard, or of cancel culture, are all so sensitive that people only take the situation at face value without context or situational understanding. That’s because we’re scared to see evil, and we are scared because we know that evil is inside of us all. We’re scared that it could very well be us, in either party, or wearing either pair of shoes. But context matters! That is how we learn and change the next time, and how we find the pure goodness in each human. 

When I made my Pinterest handle, I was a very ignorant and inexperienced teenager, sitting in a barracks room watching my fellow marines play video games and I decided on my handle because not only was it a credential that I could remember since it was my own first name, but it was just simply play on words. That’s where it stopped for me. I had no idea it would land for people and hurt the way it did. In the military, terrible jokes are made all day long, and we are trained to be emotionless on purpose, for we ARE tools of war. I was in the darkest place of my life. I had recently been a victim of a terrible sexual assault by a fellow Marine, and I had so much hate in my heart for everyone and everything. I was hurt. We know hurt people hurt people, which also hurts themselves and keeps them stuck in that shadow. Part of the reason a large majority of people follow me or my donut business is because I vulnerably share my story about rising from the ashes of my darkest chapters, and using my personal responsibility and willpower to build myself back up and get better. I wish people could see this story of a hurt young girl, hurting others using words without understanding, and how I have learned and grown since then. This is part of my story. This is the point.

Since then, I have made it my life’s purpose to make a positive difference in my community through my work. I have worked to better other people's lives and fight for underrepresented people and values that matter. I’ve done this through volunteering my time, raising thousands of dollars in fundraisers donated to causes such as LGBTQ rights, BIPOC opportunities and Women’s Empowerment, and speaking out about them publicly using my platform. All one needs to do is pay attention to the work I do, or ask me questions about it directly, to understand the woman I have become today and know that I am not the same as I was then. I hope it is clear, I no longer harbor hate in my heart. 

 I know better than anyone that I made a mistake 11 years ago when I used that play on words, and any other insensitive joke I have made along the way, and I will live with the consequences of my choices. Yet, at a certain point, when you continue hitting that fact, it does become a level of cruelty and bullying, and I wonder if people realize there isn’t any good in that at all. Then you become the evil yourself. Instead of being physically violent, this is the kind that silences and kills people because you feel you have the power to take their reputation, without being held accountable for your actions because you can hide behind anonymity, and aren’t willing to let them see their mistakes and have the opportunity to fix them or become better people, so you put them out like a light.

I think it’s important people know this was a personal choice, not something I was forced to do by some angry mob. Our business does still remain viable to keep going as it was, but I was exhausted and almost burnt out. I had spent 3 years climbing as far as I could go, and was knocked down quite measurably. I already knew the unlimited growth mentality owning a business required of me was not in alignment with my soul and heart. Holly’s grew at a wildly exponential rate and I personally could not see it as sustainable for myself to continue giving my life to. With everything that happened on social media & the issue with my Pinterest handle, it really was the universal wink from God I needed to find my own way out, and leave with a full heart. I don’t have the heart or emotional stability or energy to stand up to the bullying and hatred anymore. I just want to live my life, let go, stop the violent cycle, and thank everyone for the love over the years. 

Do you know your future plans going forward?

I plan to take time to get more clear on my next steps toward a new way to help others in the health and wellness industry. My 200 hr YTT is part of the next step! My other deepest desires are to buy some land with my partner and build our homestead, which is our shared mission. We hope to start a family!

Greatest lesson you learned over the course of owning Holly’s Healthy Holes?

Be true to yourself and just enjoy the ride. Do your best and know that it all matters, but remember it’s not a race, and it’s not for anyone else but YOU. You will find much more joy in slowing down and being fully present.