Healing from Codependency with Licensed Counselor Marna Klug

Marna Klug is a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor based in North Dakota with over 25 years of experience. Marna specializes in working with those facing challenges related to codependency.

What is codependency?

Marna: Codependency is a maladaptive way of relating by using the external to fill our internal selves.

How does codependency negatively effect someone’s life?

Marna: When we live in codependency long enough the inner parts of ourselves become more and more unsubstantial. Then the part of ourselves that could rise up to heal becomes less and less and it is harder to heal from the maladaptive behaviors like: people pleasing, performing for value, perfectionism, care taking and rescuing others. This affects a person’s life because they start to view their value as someone who only has value if they are helping or pleasing others.

What causes codependency?

Marna: We were created to be nurtured and cared for in a way that would make us feel safe. Through a lack of acceptance and nurture we learn we must perform or people please for external validation. A codependent learns that they can take this counterfeit form of “nurture”.

What steps would someone take to overcome codependency?

Marna: People come in for therapy typically because they are angry about some relationship in their lives. Codependent behaviors typically create people who feel like they are door mats and that creates anger. The therapist then helps the client to see how their behaviors create this anger. The therapist will guide the client to look at the wounds on their hearts that create the maladaptive behaviors. It is a process of becoming self aware, to start the healing process.

Is there a specific modality you use in therapy that helps clients heal from codependency?

Marna: I use attachment theory to move toward the client’s heart. I believe in the statement: “We are wounded in relationships so the healing will also happen in relationship.” It is through the nurturing that happens in the counseling room that a codependent starts to see that her/his heart is important and she/he can expect to have their needs met. It is also important to go back and grieve and release the pain that sits on their hearts. It is this past pain that has driven the codependency.

I am grateful to Marna for helping me heal from codependency. She has made a positive impact on my life and many others. Thank you, Marna.

If you live in North Dakota and are interested in working with Marna please visit: https://www.valleychristiancounselingcenter.com/counselors/marna-klug/