PACE for Parents
The PACE attitude is a way of interacting with your child that helps them feel understood, less defensive, and more connected, especially in difficult situations.
PACE stands for Playful, Accepting, Curious, and Empathic. Here's a quick overview of each:
Playful: Being playful means bringing lightheartedness and humor into your interactions, like making silly sounds or gestures to diffuse tension. This helps your child see that life isn’t always serious and that you can find joy in everyday moments. Playfulness can help shift your child's mood, especially when they're mildly upset, but it's not about teasing or sarcasm.
Accepting: Acceptance is about listening to your child without judgment, showing you understand their feelings or perspective. It doesn't mean agreeing with their behavior but acknowledging their feelings.
EX: if your child says they hit another student, you might respond, "Wow, you felt really strongly about that." This opens the door for a conversation without escalating the situation, leaving room to discuss limits later.
Curious: Curiosity involves asking open-ended questions to understand your child’s thoughts and feelings. It's not about interrogating them but genuinely wondering about their perspective.
For instance, instead of saying, "Why did you do that?" you might ask, "I wonder what made you so upset?" The key is in how you say it—your tone should be relaxed and curious, not accusatory.
Empathic: Empathy is about making your child feel understood by showing you can see things from their point of view. Your tone, facial expressions, and body language play a big role in conveying empathy.
EX: if your child expresses anger, you might say, "That must have been so frustrating for you!" Empathy shows your child that their feelings aren’t too much for you to handle, and they're not alone in their distress.
By practicing these four attitudes—Playful, Accepting, Empathic, and Curious—you create an environment where your child feels heard, understood, and supported.